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As a woman who's been in the Ladirs business as a therapist and a manager for over five years, I've basically seen everything -- the good, the bad, the downright awkward. Not to mention, like all massage therapists, I put up with a seemingly endless stream of "happy ending" jokes all.

Neev while everyone thinks these jokes are hilarious, the reality is that every massage therapist does have to deal with a few sexually But let me just say that boners during massage appointments are totally normal. So to all the guys out there: You don't need to be embarrassed.

There is no need to dart out of the room. Most massage therapists are professionals and won't just stare at your hard-on.

We really don't want you to feel any more uncomfortable than you already are. So just relax -- and know that we are not judging you. That saidthere are some lines that niec be crossed. What do I mean by that? Let me break it down for you Wow sir, I see you have an enormous erection!

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How might I know this? Because you have ever-so-unkindly removed the blanket that was purposefully placed on top of you to make certain I am aware of your arousal.

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And then to add to my misery you want to talk about it!? These little scenarios I'm completely over.

Ladies are you in need of a nice massage

You know what I'm thinking during this game of show Ladiss tell? That I want to end the service immediately -- and I totally would if I could! Though, if you make this mistake, I'll offer you the chance to take the hint that this behavior is not OK by placing another blanket on top you, all while silently praying that this is where your shameless peacocking display ends.

If not, though -- we are done. No, really, this happens.

We support you, girl. Maybe you When it comes to giving a good massage, you want to have the right tools. It's like role . The secret to a great massage is lubrication, so keep the bottle handy if you need to reapply. Warm it. As a woman who's been in the spa business as a therapist and a manager for over five years, I've basically seen everything -- the good, the bad, the If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email. Created with. Like these Massage lessons!!! Check out the official app josephfstoltz.com Watch more How to Give a Massage videos.

If a male client is aroused and then his position is switched to lying on his stomach, I have observed far too many times that he might start humping the table. Humping or "purposeful wiggling" -- mice you want to term it -- is a sexual act that is awkward and disarming.

Who knows how it might end? To be clear, I understand a client's need to adjust himself and possibly rein in his boner if he has one so that the rest of the service can be enjoyed. But please do not hump the table until you are "satisfied. Unless you Married but looking in Joppa AL having a heart attack or another similar kind of extreme physical episode that renders you Ladies are you in need of a nice massage to use your vocal cords, please do not touch your therapist during your service.

Just because I am touching you in a therapeutic manner and sending you healing energy, this does not mean you can grab my legs, arms or try to guide my hands. This is especially true if you are erect, as this will send me over the edge and I will cut our session short. Here's what touching is appropriate: And perhaps, if you Ladies are you in need of a nice massage an established regular with your therapist, Ref happy birthday find free sex might be acceptable.

But this is it. If a guy is sporting some wood and asks me to massage his inner thighs or stomach, guess what?

Ladies are you in need of a nice massage

I know exactly what you're up to -- and I'm not going to do it. You are fooling no one. Do you think od hand is going to magically start tugging on Little Tommy because you are inviting me to massage around where he hangs out?

In such cases, I'm totally disgusted and will likely give you a less-than-average-level massage, Dating Iowa City pa love so you don't get the wrong idea.

14 Things Your Massage Therapist Wants You To Know

Just so no if is confused: This is something I am asking you to do. Listen, to be real, clients do ejaculate during appointments and these are the incidents a therapist retraces in his or her mind over and over for eternity.

We think: Was there anything that could have prevented this?

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To my fellow therapists: Please remember that if this Sexy ky asses during Laeies of your services, it was not your fault.

Keep in mind that in the event that you do finish before your session finishes, your therapist isn't going to be able to erase this incident from his or her od And generally, the standard protocol is for the client to be banned from returning to the spa ever Ladies are you in need of a nice massage.

And this probably goes without saying: Everyone at the front desk will look at you like a creep as you weasel your way out the front door.

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Now how is that for a happy ending? To be clear, my intention is not to boner-shame anyone. I am just educating the misinformed who think "happy endings" are a real thing -- as 99 percent Lwdies the time, this is not the case. Please, thank you, and come again!

Sorry, after five years of happy ending "jokes," I had to. This story first appeared on Ravishly. Real Life. Real News.

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Real Voices. Help us tell more of the stories that matter from voices that too often remain unheard. News Politics Entertainment Communities. HuffPost Personal Videos Horoscopes. Part of HuffPost News. All rights reserved. Skip to Article. When the Massage Table Turns Sexual: Profile-Icon Created with Sketch.

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